You know what I love about tuesdays? This series!!! I cannot tell you how much I am learning from all these other moms!! I have Alycia here today. She has the cutest little girl called Palmer. Not only that but Alycia has some top notch tips on helping your toddler gain their "independence" which is something we all can use a little help with!! I sure know that I can with how Ellie has been lately and its nice to know that I'm not the only one going through this. So go on and take a peek into Alycia's life here and then grab a coffee and hop on over to her blog for a while - I know you are gonna love it!
I want to thank Ashley for allowing me to be a part of her series, Toddler Tuesday. I have enjoyed reading all the tips the other mama bloggers have had to say. I'm grateful for the opportunity to share my ideas too.
Firstly, I'll introduce myself. I'm Alycia and I blog over at Crazily Normal. I am married to my husband of 3.5 years, Mitch and we have an 18 month old daughter, Palmer; our little firecracker! We are jumping feet first into the "toddler independence" stage right now, so I thought it was fitting to talk about this.
Toddler independence is something we are trying to take with a grain of salt these days. It can be very frustrating for us as parents as well as for your child. Being unable to effectively communicate what it is they want or are trying to do is the first battle. Then come the tantrums; the kicking and screaming and flailing around on the floor. Then the frustration sets in. I all too often find myself getting frustrated with Palmer when she doesn't listen, but I need to imagine where she is coming from; her point of view. She is just a child learning about her environment and trying to gain the knowledge to succeed. Sometimes, allowing her to make mistakes, although it may be difficult to watch as a parent, will be the best way she can learn.
So, from there, I will share with you my Parent Strategies for helping your child transition to becoming an independent toddler. (Disclaimer: I am no expert. I'm just going by what I imagine might work in hopes of being right as we jump into this journey of raising a child)
1. Let them make their own decisions.
I don't mean all decisions. I mean things like apple juice or orange juice with breakfast. Or do you want to wear this shirt or this dress? Simple things that can make them feel like they have the control. Palmer will happily point to which snack she wants after her nap or will choose from a variety of books which one to read before bed. It's simple things like this that can help your child feel independent and allow you as a parent to keep your sanity, at least in this moment.
2. Patience.
This is a time of learning for your child; a time of figuring out the world around them. This won't happen in a minute/an hour/a day. It will take time and lots of patience from you as a parent. So it takes Palmer 4 minutes to try to put on her shoes, yet she still gets it wrong. That's OK! Allot that extra 5 minutes it takes for her to get herself ready. So she's trying to use a fork but ends up with most of her spaghetti on her lap? This is why she eats naked for 95% of her meals! She can't eat with her hands and be this messy forever or she'll never get a date. No better time to learn.
3. Pick your battles.
I'm sure we have all heard this all too often. Is it really horrible that your child wants to wear two different shoes? No. Is it the worst thing in the world if they want to wear a toque in the middle summer? No. Ridiculous? Yes. Horrible? No. Is it really worth watching your toddler throw themselves on the floor and acting like their entire world just came crashing down? I think not!
4. Keep your sense of humor.
I find Palmer will react better to my requests if I incorporate something silly. Making funny noises and silly faces will make her forget what she was mad about and help me clean up the toys. Keeping things funny will help you keep your sanity! I'm sure the people in the grocery store think I'm some kind of whacko crazy person, but at least I don't have a crying child!
I want to thank Ashley for allowing me to be a part of her series, Toddler Tuesday. I have enjoyed reading all the tips the other mama bloggers have had to say. I'm grateful for the opportunity to share my ideas too.
Firstly, I'll introduce myself. I'm Alycia and I blog over at Crazily Normal. I am married to my husband of 3.5 years, Mitch and we have an 18 month old daughter, Palmer; our little firecracker! We are jumping feet first into the "toddler independence" stage right now, so I thought it was fitting to talk about this.
Toddler independence is something we are trying to take with a grain of salt these days. It can be very frustrating for us as parents as well as for your child. Being unable to effectively communicate what it is they want or are trying to do is the first battle. Then come the tantrums; the kicking and screaming and flailing around on the floor. Then the frustration sets in. I all too often find myself getting frustrated with Palmer when she doesn't listen, but I need to imagine where she is coming from; her point of view. She is just a child learning about her environment and trying to gain the knowledge to succeed. Sometimes, allowing her to make mistakes, although it may be difficult to watch as a parent, will be the best way she can learn.
So, from there, I will share with you my Parent Strategies for helping your child transition to becoming an independent toddler. (Disclaimer: I am no expert. I'm just going by what I imagine might work in hopes of being right as we jump into this journey of raising a child)
1. Let them make their own decisions.
I don't mean all decisions. I mean things like apple juice or orange juice with breakfast. Or do you want to wear this shirt or this dress? Simple things that can make them feel like they have the control. Palmer will happily point to which snack she wants after her nap or will choose from a variety of books which one to read before bed. It's simple things like this that can help your child feel independent and allow you as a parent to keep your sanity, at least in this moment.
2. Patience.
This is a time of learning for your child; a time of figuring out the world around them. This won't happen in a minute/an hour/a day. It will take time and lots of patience from you as a parent. So it takes Palmer 4 minutes to try to put on her shoes, yet she still gets it wrong. That's OK! Allot that extra 5 minutes it takes for her to get herself ready. So she's trying to use a fork but ends up with most of her spaghetti on her lap? This is why she eats naked for 95% of her meals! She can't eat with her hands and be this messy forever or she'll never get a date. No better time to learn.
3. Pick your battles.
I'm sure we have all heard this all too often. Is it really horrible that your child wants to wear two different shoes? No. Is it the worst thing in the world if they want to wear a toque in the middle summer? No. Ridiculous? Yes. Horrible? No. Is it really worth watching your toddler throw themselves on the floor and acting like their entire world just came crashing down? I think not!
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| hey, at least they are the same kind of shoes, and there is a left and a right! |
I find Palmer will react better to my requests if I incorporate something silly. Making funny noises and silly faces will make her forget what she was mad about and help me clean up the toys. Keeping things funny will help you keep your sanity! I'm sure the people in the grocery store think I'm some kind of whacko crazy person, but at least I don't have a crying child!
This stage of toddlerhood is them finding the balance between their need for independence and their need for dependence. It can be difficult but also so amazing to watch your child grow and become this little person doing things for themselves. Obviously, there are many things they still need mom and dad for, but trying to differentiate what they can and can't do is hard.
Some days they want to do things by themselves. Other days, they want mom and dad to help. Whatever type of day it is, remember, your little person is trying to develop into someone who knows what they want and can think for themselves.
And remember....it's just a phase. It will pass, thank goodness!!!
Some days they want to do things by themselves. Other days, they want mom and dad to help. Whatever type of day it is, remember, your little person is trying to develop into someone who knows what they want and can think for themselves.
And remember....it's just a phase. It will pass, thank goodness!!!
pretty fantastic, am I right?!! Thank you so much Alycia for going on this crazy parenting journey before me and letting me know what to expect and how to navigate it!!
♥ Ashley
love this series as much as I do? Have a toddler and want to contribute? I would LOVE to have you write a guest post! Just send me an email or comment here and I will get you on the calendar!!!
Great tips! I totally agree with you about small decisions (I think big ones overwhelm them) and letting the small things go! Sometimes the thing you want to say "no" to isn't worth the battle :)
ReplyDeleteRight? So not worth the battle. I have definitely learned to pick and choose our battles!!!
DeleteTotally agree with everything, especially the last one! Haha I've been known to tickle Scarlett during one of her fits or turn her upside down (because she thinks it's hilarious) and she snaps right out of it! Haha and if all else fails, toot noises are hilarious to toddlers HAHA!
ReplyDelete