Wednesday, July 22, 2015

A Life Update

I have been on a bit of an unintended blogging break but our life has been a total roller coaster the past few weeks.  Experiencing our fifth pregnancy loss has been incredibly difficult both physically and emotionally as I am sure you can imagine.  I still am struggling with the fact that we have lost 5 babies.  I have now been pregnant for about 40 weeks but have never made it past the first trimester which is also crazy.

A couple weeks ago I mentioned that I was spending the weekend with my good friend and bride to be for a bachelorette type weekend with the bridesmaids.  We had so much fun hanging out and getting to know each other better.  There was lots of drinking (on their part not mine), some time in the hot tub, and a pretty exciting game of Cards Against Humanity.  Then on my way back home on Sunday July 12, I started to get an achy feeling in my back that radiated down my right leg to my foot in addition I started to feel some shooting pains in my lower right abdomen (the same place where my fallopian tube ruptured in 2010) and tried to get home as fast as I could because I was so incredibly uncomfortable.  I was on the phone with Thomas practically the whole way home.  Once I got home the pain worsened to where I could not get comfortable and had to crawl around the house on my hands and knees.  I called my doctor's office and spoke with the doc on call, she advised that we head straight to the hospital but I probably wouldn't be able to make it the hour and fifteen minute drive to my hospital so I would have to go to the local Emergency Room.  We called up my MIL and she came right over to get Ellie.  You guys I barely made it there (just 30 minutes away) before I wanted to cut my body off the pain was so bad.  After we arrived at the ER, I was seen by a nurse and then a doctor pretty quickly but then it was another 30 minutes before I got an IV and my blood drawn.  Then another 20 minutes before I got any pain meds put into my IV.  I was freezing and they "couldn't find a blanket" for me, luckily we had one of Ellie's baby blankets in the car.  After being at the ER for about 90 minutes I finally started to feel some relief from the pain, I had an ultrasound where they confirmed that my tube had ruptured (but the Ultrasound Tech had some difficulty remembering her left from right), and I was scheduled for Emergency Surgery at 10pm that night.  The Doc on call was very nice and assured me that she would ONLY take out the affected tube and leave the other one, though she was going to look at my left tube since that is what the ultrasound said was ruptured.  I argued with her a little bit about the laterality of which tube since it had been confirmed a week before that it was on my right side and I could feel the pain on my right side.  What a mess up.  By about 11:30pm I had officially lost half of my fertility because she removed my Right Fallopian Tube.  Yes the ultrasound tech was wrong and I was right - I know my body!  I had two great fears; 1. that this was NOT how I wanted Ellie's first sleepover to go (this was our first night for both of us not being home) and 2. that I did NOT want to die on the operating table.  Ellie did great over at Nanny and Papa's house and I didn't die during surgery!!  I have just been recovering the past week and should be fully recovered in 6 weeks total.  Its been hard not being able to pick up Ellie, but I have enjoyed being able to get out of diaper changes!  Girlfriend needs to get potty trained.

I have received so many kind emails, texts, comments on Facebook and IG that might heart is so grateful for all the support out there.  My friend that is getting married (in less than 10 days!!) came over last week and spent the day with me and brought me flowers (my love language) and it felt so great that she took the time out of her crazy, busy, wedding planning schedule to spend the whole day with me.  I have the best friend ever.

In other news, our life has been pretty busy with some other stuff.

1. Our coffee make bit the dust so we have been drinking some French Press coffee and it is SO good!  I don't think I'll ever go back to another kind of coffee at home.  But we do need to get another French Press maker since ours has a crack in it :/

2. I shared about what it's like to be able to see again with new glasses from Firmoo

3.  Not only am I going to be a bridesmaid in my friends wedding but Ellie is going to be the flower girl!!  I get to make her flower girl dress and I got started this past weekend - here's a sneak peek.

4.  After my mom passed away my dad moved and rented out my childhood home. The renter's have moved out and he is going to sell our home.  I am so sad to think about that house no longer being "my home" and that someone else is going to buy it and move in.  I have been okay with the renter's since it was just temporary but now when the house sells it's not going to be the same.  We went over there yesterday to drop off some furniture for staging and I took a few pictures with my cell phone.  The house looks so big and empty without anything in it.  Definitely a sad sort of occasion.  So here is the living room, dining room, and kitchen of the house I grew up in.

5.  Ellie has been super involved in helping us in the kitchen.  She prefers to help us bake and yesterday Thomas was making some cookies and Ellie of course wanted to help.  Once the batter was all mixed up and it was time to scoop the cookies he let her have the paddle to lick off all the batter and Oh MY Word she was so adorable cleaning it off.  The pictures don't do it justice but she is now officially a cookie batter head!! She loved it so much!

And that's all I got.  Have a great day!

♥ Ashley

linking up here


  1. Those last pictures are so adorable! Licking the batter is the way to go lol! Also, the house you grew up in is so pretty! Mike's mom just moved out of the house he grew up in and it's so weird that she doesn't own it anymore! We had our wedding at that house and I always kind of imagined Odette playing there as she grew up :( XO, Kelly

  2. First off, I am so very sorry to hear about your loss and emergency surgery. Sending good thoughts your way and well wishes for a speedy recovery.

    French press coffee is so good. I've never actually tried to make it myself in one, but I've had it made for me before it was just so much tastier than coffee brewed from a pot or keurig. Your parents' house is just gorgeous. My parents talked about selling their house a few years back, so I know the feeling. They ultimately chose not to, but it's sad thinking your first home won't be there as yours anymore. Those batter licking photos are adorable! :)

  3. So sorry about your painful loss. You are in my thoughts and prayers. Little E is as cute as ever :)

  4. Sending you lots and lots of hugs!! And what a beautiful home, y'all couldn't live there??

  5. Oh ash. I'm so sorry about your awful hospital experience.

    Your home is so beautiful! I'd be sad about it being sold too!!

    I can't wait to see E in her dress! She'll be so cute!!

  6. I'm so sorry to hear about your emergency surgery. I hope you recover quickly. Your house is lovely. My mom sold mine when I went off to college, everytime I go back "home" (to my hometown) I drive by and it's the previous owners didn't keep it up at all, it's actually in foreclosure and it breaks my heart. Definitely sad to have something that holds so many memories go

  7. So glad to hear that you are okay, that had to be so scary for all of you.

    Your childhood home is beautiful. So nice that you were able to walk around and take some photos. I would LOVE to be able to revisit mine.

  8. Soooo glad to hear that you are ok! So scary! And Ellie will be the sweetest flower girl!

  9. I'm so sorry that you had to go through all that pain! Going to the ER is never fun and it is always so frustrating when they don't take care of the pain right away. I'm so glad you have such an amazing best friend. I also have a best friend who is so wonderful and I couldn't imagine life without her. I hope you heal quickly. Positive thoughts from Arkansas!

  10. Oh, sweet girl! I'm so sorry you're having to go through all of this! That pain sounds like it was excruciating!

  11. So glad that you are okay. I can't imagine how scared you were & how you are feeling now. Wishing you all the best. Big big hugs!!!

  12. Totally belated but I'm so sorry about your loss and about having surgery with the rupture. I can't imagine but it just the pits going through that. I hope you are feeling better now.

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♥ Ashley