The thing about infertility is that it has ebbs and flows...you have high times and low times. But you can usually pinpoint a "reason" for having a low time.
I try to be a fairly positive individual and I think I do a pretty good job of it.
This cycle has been a challenging one. Mostly because it was during the holiday season and so many people like to share on Social Media that they are expecting around this time, you also get a lot of them in Christmas Cards. While I am happy for these people it sure does stab me in the heart like a dagger and then add a little twist to it.
I came to the realization yesterday - with the appearance of "Aunt Flo" and a big fat NEGATIVE that these are the days where I feel my lowest. I know that the hubs and I are not taking any medical measures right now to get pregnant, we are just putting our faith in God and His timing. But these days are tough nonetheless. Sometimes its a little easier to "snap out of it" than others. Yesterday was tough. Like really tough.
This last cycle was weird. I totally felt the "mittelschmerz" this time and then started spotting a few days later. We timed ourselves accordingly but still got a negative. BUMMER.
I am SO hoping that this year I get to make our Pregnancy Announcement and do all that fun stuff. But that just isn't in the cards for right now. Praying. Please pray for us as well. Pray for healing, timing, understanding, and peace.
♥ Ashley
So sorry for all that you and your husband have gone through. I admire your faith in God and really enjoy your blog. I'll be keeping in you in my prayers!
ReplyDeleteGod's timing. Unfortunately, it is not always the same as ours. I'm sure God will bless you in some way, with a sibling for Ellie!
ReplyDeleteOh Ashley, this makes my heart hurt for you. I totally remember going through this process when we were trying to get pregnant, and each time I got my period I would try to pretend that it didn't bother me, but really it made my heart hurt every time. Hang in there... it's going to happen at the perfect time for you, I just know it. Sending lots of positive energy your way!
ReplyDeleteI understand your pain only too well. Unfortunately I'm now so far down that road that I've lost all hope of getting a BFP with any cycle. I just *know* Aunt Flo is going to turn up every single time. Fingers crossed for you to have your good news to share very soon!
ReplyDeleteMy hardest times are when my PMS symptoms show up. They are the same every.single.month and show up at the exact same time. Every month gets a night of fresh crying and then it's time to move on. I'm so sorry for you. Infertility is horrible.
ReplyDeleteI somehow didn't see this post until now.
ReplyDeleteI know. I know. I know.
Sending love over and over.